It’s about nothing

I really have nothing to post about and I wish I could. I really wanna get something out I don’t know myself. Argh, this sucks =/

..as a backup blog

Since my host has been on the down side all these months, I have decided to use this one just in case. Like today. I will still post a copy on the original blog, dated the same, timed the same.

A part of my thought that won’t seem to go beyond itself in words and feeling. Just stuck.
So, this isn’t love, is it? If I am even a little selfish, it is not. But if I want her so much, it should be. But then again, it’s just not meant to be, and it’s not supposed to be like that, so it should not be. If I am jealous with her being happy with anyone else, it should not be. Eh, this is not something I should be thinking about.

Later.

Lies!

This is out of my want-controlled hand. I’m fed up and I can’t endure it anymore. You don’t seem to care. You are hurting me, like I was in a perfect condition to bear it, and it wouldn’t make a significant difference to me. You’re wrong. An unconscious part of my heart feels that you’re not mine anymore- not the way you used to be. Today, I realize the difference between ‘I am yours’ and ‘You are mine’. With your presence, it felt much the same. I’ll quietly sit and wait for you. I’ll let you slip away, knowing you won’t. If what I know is wrong, then there’s that end to the line, and I can see it. There will be very few people to even consider before the next foot stands on thin air, that too at second thought.
I swear I’ll be waiting here for you, but don’t count on it. Life is a pretty lie.

Jake